The Adventures of Captain Man-Child and his traumatised Cat: The Cat needs a therapist

12th October – 9th November 2015
Buenos Aires

The cat doesn’t like me. Its afraid of everything and when I attempted to make friends by trying to play with her and her ball toy, I accidently hit her on the head. She hasn’t come near me since, and bolts past me in the kitchen to get her food.

Because she usually doesn’t come near me, it took me by surprise when she jumped from behind me while I was checking valves in the engine room. A million places for her to hide and get stuck on the bottom of a ship. I tried to coax her out with food but she didn’t come out until 4 hours later.

The Captain didn’t buy enough yoghurt for the cat while he is gone, and of course she only eats the expensive natural yoghurt that comes in tiny containers.
I experiment making my own yoghurt because I’m not paying money out of my own pocket to feed a cat gourmet food.

The taste is the same, but the consistency is not, and she refuses to eat it. It’s been 5 days she hasn’t eaten yoghurt. Each morning I clean her bowl and put a spoonful in that she doesn’t touch.

I refuse to give in to the spoilt princess and after a week, she began eating my homemade yoghurt. I guess she was hungry enough.

I miss the days when she was afraid of me and would run when I entered the room.

Now she constantly sits and cries in front of me, every twenty minutes. When she’s not crying she’s putting her cat arse in my face, rubbing herself up against me and all my things, leaving cat hair everywhere, and headbutting and purring for attention, before going back to crying again.

When she eats her pate cat food, she can’t keep it close to the bowl. She carries it all around the ship and leaves it on the floor and seats. When she finally eats it, she usually spits out back out again.
I’m constantly stepping and sitting in gunks of food.
The first time I came back to cat food everywhere I cleaned it up. The second time I didn’t and discovered she will go back and eat the chewed up food eventually.

It is the most depressive cat I’ve ever seen. Sitting and staring at various windows, running from everything. This cat needed a psychologist. I know the Captain didn’t like her to walk on deck, and while I’m all for encouraging animals to get outside, I didn’t want to risk her falling into the water. The river in Buenos Aires is a lovely poo brown colour, and I’ve seen many condoms, tampons and dead fish floating by. I wasn’t risking having to get in the water to rescue her, so the few times she tried to go on deck, I shooed her back inside.

At one point the power went out on the ship. I remembered he told me to check the fuse box first but when I open it up – everything is in German. I switch random switches and somehow get the power on again.

Discovered birds making a nest in the furl of the sail. Unfortunately had to foil their plans otherwise the poor things would get a shock when we left, taking their home with us.

The past few weeks been mentally preparing myself and cleaning the whole ship for when the Captain returns…

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Her royal Highness
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Cat hair coat anyone?

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